In my confuzzled wanderings across this green and bluish planet, I've found many strange and wonderful things. I was visiting my aunt in Chileemolusk (that's a little, primitive village way up in the northern-most corner of the north, where the natives still hunt in the traditional ways and the polar bears wear coats) when she mentioned to me that she was having trouble with wayward penguins (penguins are from the south) and Slugs in her garden (she grows mostly icicles).

I, being the inquisitive gastropod gawker that I am, quickly squidged out to her winter wonderland and along the garden walk (it was lined with frozen fruitcakes) to investigate. After I shooed a few tuxedo-clad, grounded birds from my path, I was amazed at what I found.

There, chewing gracefully on a large, elegant icicle (my aunt grows purebred, prize-winning, conical icicles), was the fuzziest Slug I had ever seen.

It's thick, luxuriant coat was an icy blue shade, shimmering with a slimey indigo sheen. It's antenae waved elegantly as it watched me, unafraid.

"Aunt Mire," I asked in awe (for I was truly amazed), "do all the Slugs around here have such delightful fur?"

"Tserisa, my dear," Aunt Mire (her maiden name was Ooze) grumbled, "all the Slugs around here have such disgusting fur. You wouldn't believe how much the slimey follicles gunk up the drains around here."

Thus began a wonderful adventure for me. I took it upon myself to find and gather all the Slugs in the area which had been orphaned (there were many, because the people of Chileemolusk often used rock salt on the roads to improve driving conditions), and bring them back with me to the Great Northwest, where people could love and care for the little creatures. Easier said than done.

The people of Chileemolusk were adamantly against the protection of this furry gastropod, and opposed my quest at every turn (the roads in Chileemolusk are very meandering and curvy). I was truly saddened by the prejudice against the Slugs, though I have seen it every day of my life in my own community and elsewhere.

However, working in secret, and with my own Racing Slug, Trigger, aiding me (especially during highspeed chases), I was able to gather the disadvantaged Slugs together, place them gently in canning jars, and smuggle them across the Chileemolusk border (narrowly avoiding the Guard Gartersnakes there... gartersnakes are exceptionally fond of a slimey Slug feast) and southward to my home in the Pacific Northwest.

The Chileemoluskian name for the Slugs was Ickeeyuk, meaning "Slimey Sheep". However, I knew that the Chileemoluskian word would be much too difficult for many thick-tongued CyberSurfers to pronounce, I dubbed the blue beauties Northern Wooly CyberSlugs.

You can now find the homeless Wooly Slugs at the CyberSlug adoption center. Please consider adopting one of these poor, fuzzy gastropods.