The Knick Knack Caddywhack Song
(you can sing this, go ahead)
Permission to post at the Tser Caddywhack site
© W. R. DeAngelo 1997

There's a man with no tan driving in a green? blue? sedan.
Yes it's Nick Knack Caddywhack. What's that color tone?
He's a vamp that's *driving* home.

Who knew back in twelve two eight this Knight would own a car so great.
Now a Nick Knack Saddle Lack, a mortal prop of course
But it smells better than his horse.

Drop the remote, put on your coat, that car is the size of a boat.
When it's ship ahoy leather boy, where to park the ark?
A spot the size of Central Park.

When you're shot all full of holes the Glove Box holds a change of clothes.
Then it's Ooooh Accck! Throught the back, another jacket vented.
At least the Caddy wasn't dented.

Nick is sure he's no jerk. Got his dial tuned to CERK
In a Nick Knack Caddywhack, is this where I turn?
Must get home before I burn.

Vachon thin's it's all 'bout fins, but Nick aspires to mortal sins
In his Nick Knack Caddywhack. Is there room for me?
Open up the trunk and see!

When Nick gets stuck out there alone, Schanke drives his True Love Home.
Could you wash my Cadillac? Don't joyride about town
And turn that polka music down.

It's no bunk about the trunk. It's big and wide and holds a hunk.
Its a '62 Cadillac, 35HMV6. Just the perfect size for Nicks.

So cool and suave, that's what Nat thinks, even when his shirt is PINK.
Yes it's Nick Knack, top down flat, Who's that on the phone?
It's Nat! She's still at home, *alone*.

The Caddy LaCroix can't abide for Nick won't take him for a ride
In that super slick Cadillac, he'd go Nick, just ask nice.
LaCroix will bring picnic supplies.
*waves to the unnamed faction*

Janette's eyes were on a Vette. Nick's practical and won't relent.
With the top down, driving round, it messes up her hair.
We French have standards oh mon cher.

See that chrome, that polish, that tint! Why has Nick no French accent?
In his Nick Knack Cadillac, a beauty to behold;
We love them though they're both *real old*.

Someday Nick will get his wish to find himself a permanent FIX
Then it's over flat Cadywhack, Nick's a family man.
Now he has to drive a *van*.